The “Act” of public speaking!

Ok, so our dear ancestors, the brave and the courageous cavemen had the same symptoms. “Pete, what’s wrong with you? That is a bear coming at you! Get your spear out! Fight! Run!!” But Peter does neither. The last thing he remembers is his legs turning wooden, his hands trembling, his vision blurring and oh yes, that familiar lurching sensation in the stomach.

I can empathize with poor Pete. Definitely not a pretty sight being mauled by a bear, or for that matter, by your boss! “Come on Archana, this is the fourth time you are getting sick just before an important presentation and with what? A stomach upset! Get a little creative! This is turning into a pattern now”. I gave Mr. Boss a sheepish smile and stared nonchalantly at the pattern on my dress. Bang! What was that? My boss had thrown a book in front of me. “Here, you need this!” he smirked. I tried to focus on the book in front of me – Public speaking for “dummies”. Now this was seriously offensive and I wanted to tell my boss exactly that. I could very well visualize my next appraisal go down the trashcan resting next to my feet if I spoke up but I didn't care. I made up my mind; it was now or never. I stood up in a flurry, knocked down the trashcan with my feet, looked my boss in the eye and said – “Thank you!”  Darn, I hated myself.

Later that day as I was flipping through the pages of the book and contemplating whether to feed it to my dog or offer it to the crackling fireplace in my living room, I saw a picture of a caveman on one of the pages. That was our very own Pete with his dilemma. Poor chap. He appeared on all the pages explaining to the “dumb” readers the science of overcoming this fear. That did it. I liked Pete, I read on. Oh, so the fear of public speaking is only the second most common fear right after the fear of death. I and Pete were in good company. That felt good. Taking public speaking workshops or acting courses is said to have reduced the anxiety in a lot of people, Pete announced somewhere in the book. That held my attention. Did he say acting? I love acting. In fact, I have acted all throughout my life. Don’t want to go to school, act sick. Like that hunk at work, act difficult to get. He approaches you for coffee, act nonchalant. The hunk offers to pay the bill for you, act offended. Acting was in my blood. I sure was good at it. I had to give an acting course a shot and see if it helped me!

I turned to Mr. Google for advice. He didn't disappoint me. He offered me a list of acting schools in my city. I chose one of them and attended the course. And that is where the transformation started. My first time up on stage, I felt the same lurching sensation in my stomach. But a realization dawned. Hey, that was not me on the stage anymore; it was the character I was playing, a drunken fisher-woman. And “she” could make mistakes, she was drunk after all. I think I gave my best performance that day. As I portrayed different characters through the course of the workshop, I learnt an important lesson, that it was important to be comfortable in one’s own skin. And that is was OK to have flaws, to fumble, to make mistakes. No one was perfect. Through the various well planned activities that the acting course entails, I could slowly but surely feel my confidence building up. I was ready for the world, for my boss!

“Breathe Archana. You will be just fine”, I told myself as I looked at an ocean of faces staring right back at me in the conference room. My boss was sitting in the corner having rubbed in the fact that this was my fifth attempt at an important presentation. I took a deep breath and started speaking.

“Now that was a good presentation”, my boss beamed as he stopped by at my cubicle later that day. I knew it as soon as I had finished speaking. Yes, I had fumbled at a few places, forgot a few important points but I was no longer afraid to make mistakes and there was definitely no fear of public speaking. Pete would have been so proud. “Thank me in leisure”, my boss guffawed as he strutted off. I ignored him and muttered under my breath, “Thank You M!SFIT!”