Wow, what do I write about them?! On second thoughts, maybe I am the best person to write about them! I travel by auto everyday. Well, not really out of choice but out of necessity and I would like to lay the claim that I know the breed very well. I share a very cordial love-hate relationship with them and absolutely adore them! Confused?! Read on.
I don’t want to be partial here but I want to lay in front of you some of the super qualities of our auo-waale bhaiyyas that makes them so adorable!
You thought negotiation skills were something only an IIM educated MBA Grad had?! No sir! Picture this.
Here I am, hailing an auto at the auto stand in front of my apartment. I tell the auto driver my destination and that puts him in a deep thought! I brace myself for thesweet onslaught. "100Rupees ma'am", I hear him say. "Excuse me, why does thevehicle have a meter?! Put it on and I will give you how much ever it comesto", I blush. He looks at me with his deep soulful eyes and says, "Ok chalo90Rs then!” Bargaining, huh?! I stay adamant and he brings down his price, ‘Okay madam I will put the meter, you give 10 Rs. Extra”!! So endearing.
You thought “the need for speed” syndrome existed only in James Bond?! Nope. Hold your breath right there James Bond fans! Well, on second thoughts, keep breathing. This will take a while. Presenting to you our very own desi auto driver Bond, Mr. Krishnappa Prasad (Or your highness can choose a name.)
Krishnappa Prasad’s specialty – he hallucinates and thinks his auto is a Formula One racing car! He has the uncanny ability to snake around the heavy Bangalore traffic in such top speed that poor you is left clutching your dhak dhak heart in your mouth and hoping that the heart doesn’t fall right onto your lap. Literally, of course! Why pay money to sit on amusement park joy rides when our very own auto drivers can take us for the ride of our life! Read, double savings! Why spend money on those senseless amusement parks, anyway?
You thought to be able to give smart repartees and one liner you need to be a smart Alec from Harvard!? Picture me in an auto and my hero is as usual in full James Bond mood! I yell, “Boss, go slowly!!!” And he obeys me obediently but the only problem is that he starts going so slowly that even a bullock cart could have overtaken us! He looks at me with a shy smile, “Ma’am, you only asked me to go slow na!” Aaah, you can’t beat them, can you! So sweet.
The last time I started counting all the super qualities in the auto waale bhaiyyas, I had used up all my fingers and toes! Guess that means you would have to wait till my next post to learn more about this breed. Keep watching this space.
I have one parting shot which I hope will go down in history as one of the quotable quotes, “Can’t live with or without them!”
Jai Auto Rickshaw!
(Disclaimer: The following article is totally non-fictional and any resemblance to an actual person or event was not co-incidental. Satire or pun in the article was intended and no animals were harmed during the course of this writing. Although I should add, a certain mouse was moved around a lot and it was made to do a lot of “click” like squeaking noises. The mouse is now living on borrowed time!)
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